Cathlene Bell

As we travel on our vacations, the tendency is to take things—to take in the local culture and cuisine, take lots of photos, and take home souvenirs. All of those things are wonderful and worthwhile! However, our summer excursions don’t have to be limited to taking; we can also seek out opportunities to give back.

There’s an expression that goes, “Always leave a place better than how you found it.” How can we apply this idea on vacation? Like Johnny Appleseed who planted apple seeds along his travels, we can be people who serve as we journey. Here are a few ways to get started:

Take care of your environment, even when you don’t have to. Picking up trash even if it isn’t ours, or leaving our restaurant table tidy when we leave, are small choices that have a big impact. By taking the time to do something kind and considerate toward others, we contribute to the creation of a kinder, more considerate culture, and that is worth the minor inconvenience!

Offer what you have, even if it is simply your time or help. As nice as it is to be served, isn’t it even nicer to work side by side with someone, enjoying the satisfaction of the fruits of your work? Working together on a shared task is also a great way to get to know someone. Whether it’s by washing dishes with your host family or building a house with volunteers for Habitat for Humanity, offering our time and talents is a way to give of ourselves while gaining new experiences and friends.

Consider taking this to a new level by exploring Eco-tourism or voluntourism!

Listen and learn. The places we visit have so much to teach us! Resist the temptation to do, eat or interact with only the things which are familiar. By trying new things and meeting new people, and especially by listening to their own stories, interests and concerns, we are choosing to give our attention and our appreciation to something unfamiliar. The more we choose to do this, it creates a habit of acknowledging the inherent good in every culture—and that sort of thinking can change the world!

When we take the time and the effort to give of ourselves when we travel, the entire world becomes our home. The people we pass on the street become our family members, and their hopes and needs become our own. Sounds like a nice place to be!

When we think about change or challenges, our mind often envisions situations like losing a job, death in the family, or moving into a scary new phase of life. In these sorts of temporary hardships we find solace in knowing that the stress and strain eventually will pass. But not every difficulty moves on from our lives so readily. In particular, when we or someone we love are diagnosed with a disability, that sort of change—and its daily challenges—can be much more permanent.

Physical and mental abilities are something which, consciously or otherwise, we might include as a part of who we are and how we identify ourselves. If that ability changes, or if someone we love and for whom we wish the best does not have a certain kind of ability, how do we turn these often painful situations into a blessing? Furthermore, if we are lucky to have good health, how can we be grateful for that and be sensitive to the struggles faced by others?

Let God in

There are few things that make our heart ache more than discovering that someone we love will have to struggle through life more than others. If the frustration we feel in our own heart is bad, imagine the frustration felt by the biggest, most ultimate parental heart in the universe! And yet, it is God who is by our side through every difficult moment. God knows that our hardships are something we are equipped to bear—even when we don’t believe we can! In the low moments we can turn to God, knowing that He and She can hold us when we cry and can strengthen us as we rise to face our challenge.

God wants to let us in, too!

Life is all about perspective. If we look around us, we encounter fortunate people who think their lives are awful and people who smile through the most unbelievable difficulties, which proves that external circumstances do not define happiness. The secret to being positive isn’t really a secret: It takes hard work and daily effort to hunt down something, anything good about our current situation.

Doing so can be excruciating at first—it’s not easy to expound on the joys of a 12-year-old having a tantrum in the supermarket like a toddler, or having our patience stretched as our loved one takes twice as long to achieve something. The frustration of those moments can make the victories reached that much sweeter, but not always. Some days the only grain of reassurance we can cling to is that our suffering today might lessen the suffering of someone else in the future.

Yet it is precisely in those moments of suffering that we are granted access to a very specific and sacred corner of God’s heart. This is a place that few people understand, simply because they have never been able to relate. But those chosen to support a loved one through months of doctors’ appointments, who learn to give dozens of medications and change soiled bedding night after night, who learn to explain to others that this person is perfectly fine and simply has different abilities than most people—how precious to God is the empathy found in such people! Caregivers to people with special needs become earthly experts of divine love.

Beyond positivity, seek purpose

For those who themselves are called to live a life with special needs, finding the blessing can be even harder. Everyone has moments when they wonder, “Why me?,” and in a life filled with moments of feeling completely overwhelmed around people, or needing help but having difficulty asking for that help, finding the blessing in our lives can seem useless.

Nick Vujicic, a young man born without arms or legs, felt this struggle acutely during his childhood to the extent that he attempted suicide during his adolescence. Thankfully, the relationship he cultivated with God led him to discover his life purpose of sharing his story to inspire others. He explains: “Jesus said that the blind man was born that way so that the works of God would be revealed through him. I said to God, if you had a plan for that man, I certainly believe that you have one for me. I let go of ‘needing to know the plan’ and trusted God to guide me one day at a time.”

Nick’s story reminds us that sometimes positivity is not enough; we need to find our purpose and the way we fit into God’s plan for humanity. When we see our life as a subplot to God’s overarching story of humanity, we realize that we play an active role in helping God write the happy ending we all yearn for.

We are all special needs

Just as seeking positivity and purpose can open up the hearts of caregivers, choosing to focus on the blessings in our lives guides us to the realization that everyone, of every ability, has both blessings and challenges. We all have special needs, and when we acknowledge our own beautiful abilities, we discover how to use what we have to help someone else. We can feel comforted and hopeful, knowing that we all can use what we have to contribute in our own way toward making the world a better place for everyone.

“Home is Where the Heart Is.” It makes for a cute welcome mat or decoration, but when unexpected life circumstances require us to let go of what we call home, this phrase can feel kitschy and unhelpful. We associate the feeling of being home with being safe and secure, and having to redefine that can make us feel lost.

As uncomfortable as times like these are, it’s also an ideal time for us to find stability in what can always withstand change: our relationship with God. Here are some tips to help us remember that home can always be found within.

Keep Memories, Release Things

Whether due to a death in the family, the need to make space for a new child or a long distance move, many different situations can require us to leave things behind. Our belongings can flood us with memories from all the twists and turns in our lives, but it’s important to always remember that these belongings are objects first. The memory can live on without the object attached to it.

If it’s necessary to let go of something with sentimental value, try taking photos of the object, or even better, use a voice recorder to tell yourself the stories connected to the object while it’s still in your hands—it keeps the memories much more vivid, and the digital form takes much less space than the object, allowing you to move forward freely!

Let Yourself Fall in Love Again

Sometimes our move to a new place is a choice that requires some sacrifice, such as moving away to support a spouse’s career growth, or to care for a loved one. We make these choices knowing that it’s for the best, but that doesn’t stop us from feeling the pinch of leaving a place we love. As hard as it is to let go of what feels safe, we can feel comfort in knowing that God lives everywhere—and can’t wait to share everything He loves about this new place with you.

Just like any other relationship, the bond we build with our new surroundings takes time. Try thinking of your new place as a person you are getting to know, and spend time together! It can help to do a photo walk, snapping pictures of interesting nooks and crannies, or simply look for some sacred spaces where you can reconnect with God and with yourself. Before you know it, you will feel your heart smiling as it learns to love something new.

Put Out Your Welcome Mat

As much as a familiar environment and belongings are a part of that feeling of home, what would a home be without people? They are the ones with whom our cherished memories are made. If we are moving away with a loved one, remembering just how fortunate we are to have them can keep things in perspective. We might be saying goodbye to many things, but at least we have them to make new memories with!

However, if your transition to a new home makes it necessary to live far from loved ones, doing your best to get comfortable with the new people surrounding you will help create that sense of home. Even if you are not familiar with the local language or culture yet, approaching people with a smile and an open heart will in turn open their hearts to welcome you in. Offer to serve using your unique talents, or invest time into a local group activity or ministry.

By making these kinds of efforts, we make the conscious choice to embrace change as something positive, and by doing that, we place ourselves into a mindset where God can remind us of an often forgotten yet powerfully divine truth—wherever God is, home is.

4 Guidelines for Deciding When to Grow Your Family (and the One Truth that Trumps Them All)

Tiny fingers and toes, gurgled laughter and a gently breathing, sleepy bundle of joy and wonder cradled in our arms… these and many other images pass through our minds as we consider having children. Father Moon, founder of the Unification faith, considered family to be the ideal school of love and the ultimate expression of God’s being. He says:

“Our children are there to enable us to deeply experience the circumstances of the heart of God, the subject who created the entire universe through love. By having and loving these children we come to realize, ‘Ah, this is how God loves people!’” (Cheong Seong Gyong, pg. 370, 6.1)

Since many of us would list a happy, harmonious family as one of our biggest life goals, it’s easy to agree. Like all goals, however, one of the most challenging steps is the very first one, specifically, knowing when to take that step! If growing your family is on your mind, here are some areas to check in on personally, to guide you in finding the right time to start:

The Spiritual

First, we need to connect with God, and allow ourselves to be vulnerable to what our Heavenly Parent wants for us. We often discuss our spiritual journey as a solitary practice, but in truth, our relationships bring about our deepest spiritual growth. While each of our relationships bring out unique facets of our love, our children reveal the part of our heart most deeply entwined with God: our innate parental nature. Getting that intimate with God sometimes means being pushed to the limit, but the wisdom we gain from that is unparalleled. Take the time to ask God, “Am I game for that degree of spirituality?”

The Emotional

The reflective practice of checking in with God creates an excellent opportunity to check in with someone else: ourselves. Becoming a parent transforms us in incredible ways, but that cannot occur unless we willingly offer our whole heart. Ask, “Am I in a good place emotionally? Is there something I need to do for myself first, that I know is necessary to be able to give my best self as a parent to our future children?” If there is something on your heart that urgently needs attending to, and you believe a bigger family could result in it being neglected, seek out the self-care you need.

The Relational

Take the time to examine your relationships with the people who form the “village” in which you will raise your child. How are things between you and your spouse, your parents, your in-laws and other family members? Are you on the same page about family values? Are you in a position where these relationships are healthy enough to provide at least emotional,if not also physical, support?

The Physical

We all want to create a secure environment for the new little people who come into our care, and stability in things like our health and finances are a necessary part of that. If your couple’s budget or physical health is in any way uncertain, now is a great time to sit down together and reach clarity together on what needs fixing. Is there room in your finances for one more? Can your bodies handle the strain of parenting? If not, is there an expense or lifestyle choice you are prepared to let go of to welcome in something new?

Amidst all this introspection, don’t forget this one important point: we never, EVER feel one hundred percent ready for life’s big changes, especially a child. There will always be twinges of self-doubt, or feeling as though we haven’t ticked everything off our pre-baby bucket list. If we wait for all the conditions to be perfect before we make a change, waiting is all we end up doing. Luckily for us, our Heavenly Parent knows a thing or two about parenthood, and can foresee what we cannot. Ultimately, God wants us to experience every aspect of love, including parental love, and no matter when we choose to take that plunge, it’s a choice we will never regret making.

What was your first thought when you woke up this morning? For me, that first thought was, “OUCH!” After an uncomfortable night spent trying to coax my two year old into letting me have my fair share of our mattress, my spine could have passed for a pretzel.

I pulled on some sweatpants and gave myself permission to take it easy, but soon two episodes of my favorite binge watching show became three, one cup of coffee became two, and my list of reasons as to why my self-pity was perfectly justifiable became ever longer.

My spirit grumbled, “Of course I feel terrible right when I have a mile-long To Do list and an upcoming deadline. Of course my son chose today to be messier and louder than usual, and my husband is working late and needs a ride home, so they not only cannot help me, but demand my help!”

Later, while laying in bed willing myself to get up, a thought struck: Is everything really as terrible as I perceive it to be? Or is some inner battle coloring my perception? In that moment, I finally acknowledged something that I had been long avoiding: I am a pity-holic.

It happens to many of us at some point: we hover around like a heavy fog, perceiving minor setbacks to be the universe’s personal vendetta against us. We do it because we desire love and appreciation for all the hard work we do, but instead of asking clearly for those things, we seek to be pitied. It feels good in the moment, but the more we engage in it, the harder it is to exist from a place of true joy.

On difficult days, we wish we could hit a Reset button to “restore default settings” on our spirit, and get back to living with happiness. Guess what? It’s more attainable than we think.

Our Divine Design

The first page of the Divine Principle describes an actual default setting we’ve had all along:

“People feel joy when their desires are fulfilled. The word “desire,” however, is often not understood in its original sense, because presently our desires tend to pursue evil rather than good. The original mind is well aware that such desires lead to misfortune. Therefore, it repels evil desires and strives to follow the good.”

The “original mind” mentioned is precisely the sort of Default Setting we yearn for. It may sound similar to our conscience, but it differs in that, while our conscience is our personally constructed understanding of what is right and wrong, the original mind is the universal moral code deeply rooted in the soul of all humanity since our creation. So, how do we connect to it?

In the End, It’s a Matter of Choice!

Father Moon explains that the original mind is given to us by God as the best way to experience a truly fulfilled life, but unlike the way we humans program a machine, God also gives us the power of free choice. We choose for ourselves the emotional settings with which we function. No one else, not even God, can make that choice for us.

When we fall into the cycle of self-pity, we warp the healthy, original mind-driven practice of self-care into something destructive – not only to ourselves, but to those around us. Deep down, we know that our choice is not bringing us what we seek – that’s the original mind prompting us to recall the way we originally intended to live. When we choose instead to examine our current internal “settings” and bring them closer to their original state, we give our day a reboot – though our circumstances may remain challenging, our attitude towards them changes, and that makes all the difference!

Self-check: What’s Your Current Setting?

Wondering what your current “setting” might be? Try asking yourself some of these questions:

-On an average day, what do you first think about when you wake up?

-When something inconveniences you, does it bug you all day long?

-Do you find yourself reacting, or responding, to what life throws at you? (There’s a key difference!)

-Do you believe our emotions are something we can control?

My father-in-law used to believe that he would be a hands-off grandparent. Then his grandson showed up. Before he knew what hit him, he was bouncing a giddy, drooling blonde on his knee to the tempo of the William Tell Overture. Whenever he holds my son, a distinct expression crosses his face. He turns to me, and asks the same question every time: “Why can’t we stay like this forever? God wants nothing more from us than this divine innocence…Why do we always lose it?”

He’s right—to an extent. Children have a profoundly beautiful outlook on the world, and though we gain wisdom as we mature, we begin to lose our innocence once we experience being hurt by the world around us. We learn to react by putting our defenses up and keeping our distance, reactions which not only distance us from our global family, but from God. But kids aren’t perfect, either. They can be selfish too, and can make hurtful mistakes in how they relate to others.

After hearing my father-in-law’s question enough times, I could not help but want to find a good answer, and like any writer, I turned to books. The story which provided me with the most insight is a peculiar one: “The Curious Case of Benjamin Button”, a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald. For those who have not read the story or seen the 2008 film adaptation, Benjamin Button is born as an elderly man and ages backwards. Fitzgerald’s work calls into question the value of youth and experience equally, and got me thinking: What if we lived our lives gleaning the best of both worlds, celebrating our maturity while honoring the timeless truths of childhood?

Reverend Moon teaches that life occurs in three ordered stages of growth, which are meant to guide us towards the fulfillment of the first blessing: to be fruitful. As we mature and progress through these stages, we often consider it necessary to “give up our childish ways,” but in doing so, we may unknowingly be giving up the fundamental truths that keep us connected with the Divine.

Here are some “Benjamin Button”-inspired tips to cultivate your spiritual life in a way that celebrates all our years have taught us, while tapping back into the youthful insights we may have lost.

Write a Letter to the Past

A character in the film adaptation declares, “Life can only be understood looking backward, but it must be lived forward.” What insights have you gained over the years that you wish you had known earlier? Try writing them down in a letter to your younger self, thinking back to the worldview you once had. Then, reverse the exercise, writing a letter from your younger self back to who you are today. What lessons from childhood might be worth reviving?

Get Curious

At a certain point in our maturation, we tend to become content with not knowing everything. But what if the answers we seek lie precisely in the things we’ve decided aren’t worth learning? Try dabbling in a new subject, doing a comparative reading of different religious scriptures, or seeking out a friendship with someone you’d normally never approach. Choose to ask questions, especially if that’s something you find challenging!

Forgive

Is there someone you find challenging to forgive, either in your current life or from your past? Picture them as a small child—and picture yourself as one too. What would our Heavenly Parent want you to feel towards each other? When we choose to view our transgressors with a familial heart, their actions can be easier to understand, and we remind ourselves that we are all still children, trying our best to make our way through this complex world.

What other tips would you recommend to keep our youthful innocence alive as we mature?

“—It’s all a part of my forty-year plan. My goal is to be my personal best in everything I pursue, make lots of money, own the highest quality things and provide an awesome life to the people I love.” Few people could make me squirm as much as this particular dinner guest, a charismatic and high-achieving economics major and family friend whom I’ve known since we were both in braces. He seemed to have figured out exactly what he wanted out of life, and was well on his way to getting it.

Me? Not so much. Juggling my attention between the immediate needs of my cancer-stricken brother and mother, and my long-distance relationship with my fiancé, kept me feeling like I was always treading water. Add a Liberal Arts degree with few lucrative job prospects and it becomes easy to understand how little I could relate with our guest.

Most of us can align ourselves somewhere along the spectrum of these two lifestyles: the ”Planners”, who know what they want and map out exactly how they aim to get it, or the “Trusters”, who aim for constant spiritual attunement with the overarching plan a higher power has for their lives. We tend to get along well with those like ourselves, and conflict with those who differ. Is it possible to harmonize the two?

Designed for Unity through Conflict

We learn in the Divine Principle that conflicting styles are surprisingly intentional, and part of God’s master plan for optimal personal growth throughout our lives. In creating us with contrasting ways of thinking, God manifests His (and Her) fascinating dualities, and offers us the lifelong opportunity of learning from each other and meeting in the middle, ultimately returning to full resemblance of our Creator.

Bridging Our Divide

So, how can we relate this back to the conflict between Planners and Trusters? One word: co-creation.

We can think of Trusters as those who stick right to God’s heels with every step in life, preferring company and guidance to independence while traveling through life’s choices. These kinds of people might be afraid of the responsibility that comes with making one’s own choices, or they may be prioritizing the wishes of others above their own a bit too often.

Planners prefer to chart their own course and relish the adventure life holds, but they might have their nose buried too deep into their maps to see what others (especially God) might like to introduce that can make their lives even better. Both methods have their pros and cons, and the more we can emulate the pros from both, the better.

If you consider yourself a “Planner,” try spending one week keeping one question in mind: “Does this path bring me peace?” Pay attention to the feelings which arise from both the successes and setbacks of your week. Does it feel like the universe is on your side? If you perceive any sense of lacking, explore that. Might there be something new that God wants to show you?

If you consider yourself a “Truster,” try taking one concrete action step towards fulfilling your life goals, such as practicing a skill instead of simply thinking about it, or contacting someone from a field you’ve been considering, but perhaps weren’t sure was meant for you. Enjoy the sense of accomplishment you feel when you take action (hint: that’s God speaking to you!), and let it motivate you to take action again.

Co-creation means taking the time to sit down at the table with God, to get vulnerable and share our big dreams with God, but to also listen to what God wants to say. It means creating goals which balance what we want with a higher and broader purpose. Finally, it means rising from the table, heading out the door and making those goals happen—God can’t do all the work for us!

When we see our divisions as opportunities to reunite two contrasting facets of God’s heart, we discover new and exciting ways of seeing the world, and each other. What disparate elements of life do you think can actually harmonize? Share with us in the comments below!

The things we love latch onto our hearts through our senses, and for many years, my utmost joy came wrapped in the smell of hay and leather. Happiness adhered to me like the fine layer of dirt and sweat that coated my forearms after spending an afternoon with beautiful, proud and complicated animals. Loving them helped me realize that nature is a living textbook, and each of its many lessons connects back to our Heavenly Parent who wants to experience it with us.

Waiting for Us to Understand

Horseback riding offers a unique way to learn about partnership. In this sport, our partner is a thousand-pound animal whom we are expected to straddle, figure out a shared language with, then use that language to communicate while traversing all sorts of terrain at high speeds and sometimes enormous heights (did you know that some Olympic-level obstacles are as tall as an American refrigerator? Try jumping that!). What’s more, this partner could easily decide not to cooperate and dump the rider on the ground in an instant, but it chooses not to—as long as the rider respects it.

Romans 8:19–23 states: “The whole creation has been groaning in travail together until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait for…the redemption of our bodies.”

There’s a part of us—and of nature—that yearns to experience goodness, truth and untarnished beauty, and when we utilize God’s creation in a dignified and loving way, be it through good horsemanship or other environmentally conscious choices, we tap into that longing.

How much might the world change if we viewed each other the way horses see us: without title or net worth, without any means to any ends…simply as partners, making our way through life together and hoping to enjoy the ride?

Creation is Our Teacher

Horses are excellent at revealing character: any fears or weaknesses we have become evident while riding. For example, riders who don’t like working hard tend to sit like a sack of potatoes with floppy legs that irritate a horse’s flanks, while impatient riders might lean too far forward, throwing off the horse’s center of gravity and inhibiting movement.

My flaw? Being too afraid to genuinely trust my equine partners. Love them as I did, I also feared what they were capable of, and when something went wrong, rather than calmly finding a solution my brain would spring into panic mode. Horses pick up very quickly on the emotions of their riders and often mirror them, so a panicked rider creates a panicked horse, which can lead to spooking (trying to flee) or bucking (trying to eject the rider).

As humiliating as it can be to let our flaws be exposed, pushing past weaknesses is just as important as enjoying our strengths. Watching a beautiful sunset soothes our soul, but a challenging hike up a mountain pushes our limits and shows us what we’re made of.

Love Means Getting Hurt

Learning partnership and overcoming technical weaknesses are painful processes, but my most difficult lesson would have nothing to do with sore muscles or a bruised ego.

At my peak, I was seriously considering a career with horses, feeling a surge of hope that God genuinely wanted me to succeed—until my instructor and boss suddenly decided she no longer needed me. Working for her had been the only way I could afford to ride, and just like that, my very lifeline to the horse world was severed. I tried in earnest to find other ways to keep riding, but nothing was sustainable.

I eventually realized that I have since been afraid to let myself love anything as deeply, for fear of losing it again, but doing so leads to a life that’s only half-passionate. What we love most deeply—whether people or activities—is what can break our hearts the most. Yet allowing ourselves to be vulnerable and to let others in is the ultimate act of loving, and indeed of living. “True love gives, forgets that it has given and continues to give without ceasing,” is a concept not exclusive to our relationships with people. Our interests are gateways to God’s heart, and if we don’t open those gates wide open, how else can God reach us?

My pulse still quickens every time I drive past fields of grazing horses, and I renew the promise in my heart to ride again: to be blessed with the spine-tingling whoosh of wind whipping past my ears, the satisfying quiver of muscles that have worked hard and the unspeakably gentle tickle of a horse’s warm breath on my face, horse language for “I like you. I trust you. I choose to be your friend.”

DPLife’s Favorite Movies about the Afterlife

Few people can resist the lure of a movie night. We might enjoy basic comedies, thrilling adventures or swoon-worthy love stories, but other nights we yearn for something more haunting – the sort of tale where it’s difficult to discern fact from fable. Films like The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity capitalize on our desire to explore the things we fear.Our biggest fear of all? Death.Father Moon once said, “Death means to be born in God’s love. In the human world, people make a fuss, saying, “Oh, I am dying!” But isn’t death a moment to welcome? Isn’t this going through the path of death actually a second birth?”So, what really happens when we die? Is it necessary to die before we can experience the spiritual world? While no single film can perfectly answer all these questions, here are a few films which we think, in different ways, get it right.First up, our Top Three:

This Life Creates the Next

The temptation to do what we want right now can be intense. We might consider how the consequences of our actions will affect our lives, but if there is a life beyond this one, what repercussions might our actions have then?Father Moon explains, “We should live our earthly lives as the time to prepare ourselves for the eternal world. What happens to freshwater fish when they are placed in salt water? They suffocate. If the physical world and spirit world were connected suddenly, you would end up dead like a fresh-water fish in salt water. How would you breathe in that situation? Salmon can gradually get accustomed to the change as they migrate from salt water up into fresh water. The salmon progress in stages in order to minimize the pain of transition.”Just as salmon adjust themselves as they migrate, it is wise for us to adjust ourselves from living focused on earthly concerns to living with Heaven in mind.This idea is well expressed in

Heart and Souls, where a closed-hearted businessman named Thomas is reunited with his guardian angels, four souls who had been killed during a bus accident on the night of his birth. Each with something to rectify before they ascend, the four spirits work together with Thomas to complete their unfinished business, enabling all five to grow. The film serves as a cogent reminder that what we do here on Earth matters. Life is a shared experience, with shared results.

Relating With the Beyond

In The Book of Life, Manolo would rather make music than follow the tradition of his forefathers, while Joaquin wishes to avenge his father’s death; both young men fall in love with their courageous friend Maria. Meanwhile, the two godly rulers of the underworld, La Muerte and Xibalba, gamble dominion over each other’s lands as each bets on the outcome of the love triangle.This film beautifully illustrates the Mesoamerican culture and tradition of the afterlife, featuring the holiday La Dia de las Muertas. What’s remarkable here is how the society as a whole is refreshingly unafraid of death. They know that dying does not mean the end, an idea that we Unificationists share. Remembrance and veneration of one’s lineage is encouraged, as shown by the joyous continued life of those in the Land of the Remembered and the tender kinship shared between the living and the dead.When people we love pass on, we yearn to find ways of reconnecting with them that are concrete, not merely conceptual. After some time, we find that the best way to perpetuate all their life stood for is to, through our own lives, give them the best possible legacy. Through this, though they may not be tangibly present, the best things about them are as alive as ever.

We Enter Heaven as Families

Father Moon shares that, “Heaven a place where, if the father were to enter, the mother should also enter, and if the parents were to enter, their children should also enter. Both the mother and father should enter heaven together; if the father entered heaven and the mother went to hell, could such a place be called heaven?”The latter situation is precisely what occurs in the acclaimed drama

What Dreams May Come.

After mourning the loss of his two children, Chris Nielson dies unexpectedly. As he acclimates to the beauty and freedom of spiritual living, Chris learns that his wife has committed suicide and was placed in a spirit realm where all remain lost in the their own hopelessness – a fate Chris is determined to save her from.This film eloquently expresses that we cannot feel complete if our families are not okay. As true as this sentiment is during our earthly lives, just imagine how much more acute it must be in the spirit world! Deep down, we all want that sense of unity and togetherness, just as God wants those same things with us.

Honorable Mentions

The 1990 classic Ghost includes a much-loved example of love transcending universes, but also a hilarious performance by Whoopi Goldberg as someone more spiritual than they thought.

The Sixth Sense is an evocative reminder of the pain some spiritually open people experience, and the necessity of taking such cries for help seriously.Check out

Heaven Is For Real for an exploration on how awareness of the spirit world can test the faith of a community.

Defending Your Life humorously underscores the idea of our life being preparation for what is to come.

The recent hit If I Stay hangs in the balance between life and death, where a talented young woman must decide if her life is worth continuing. (Spoiler: it always is.)

Whether we firmly believe in a spiritual world, or prefer to focus on building heaven right here on earth, the ideas championed in these films are worth applying into our lives. When we choose to use our lives fully, learning as much about love as possible and sharing the best we have with each of our relationships, we create a life we love, and one which we can be proud of when the time comes to leave it behind.

Initially published at DPLife on May 18, 2015

Today, our world is moving toward quicker, shorter, more-concise communication. We who once had pen pals and spent hours on the phone now text and tweet to interact. Though we lose the poetry, personality and leisure of deep conversation, we absorb information and accomplish tasks much faster. Like in a screenplay where any line not driving the plot forward is cut, only the essentials remain.

Or do they? In our rush towards a life that Daft Punk aptly describes as “Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger,” have we accustomed ourselves to ignoring moments of divine stillness? How do we maintain forward momentum while cherishing the beauty of living slowly?

Speed that Serves

“Do not live taking it easy. If that were acceptable, why would I have pursued a lifestyle that kept landing me in jail and made me the target of finger-pointing as someone who should be beaten to death? I could not but live that way.”

True Parents often display speed and efficiency, but they would just as easily spend long, prayerful hours on a fishing boat as they would on whirlwind speaking tours, demonstrating the equally tremendous value in deliberately doing certain things slowly.

The same is true for us; in striking the right balance between efficiency and experience, it’s essential for each to serve the other, thereby serving us and our goals. Life can seem complicated, and perpetually busy, but it becomes simpler when we choose our pace with a clear intention.

We all experience contradictions, and like any sort of conflict, harmonizing these two seemingly dissonant methods provides us with an optimal chance to grow.

Create as we Eliminate

Let’s get real: nobody ever feels like they have enough time. What can we do to free up time we want to spend strengthening our relationships and engaging in our passions?

Here’s where efficiency comes in: plenty of apps and programs like IFThisThanThat or Evernote can automate some of the small tasks we tend to do manually, freeing extra minutes for more meaningful activity…but be cautious! App stores are like a digital candy shop, and as with any form of media consumption, venturing too far in can eat up all that time we’ve been trying to save for the things we truly care about.

The best technology is that which, by eliminating the unhelpful, genuinely empowers us. For example, techniques like the Pomodoro timer and apps like SelfControl can help us to be more vigilant with our time. For the extra brave, try unplugging completely for a day and focusing only on what can be accomplished without technology—the results can be surprising!

Similarly, if we struggle to determine our life goals, we can try reducing ourselves to a few words: What’s my elevator pitch? My mission statement? What do I want my tombstone to say? The intentional brevity of these exercises gives us an anchor of clarity, keeping us from drowning in our thoughts.

This same process can serve our relationships. Whether those we love are across town or across the globe, relationships thrive when we use quick communication to regularly reinforce our love—but not as a substitute for moments of real connection. For example, a quick hello text to a friend is a nice gesture to show we care, but it cannot replace time spent together in deep conversation or shared experience.

In all these situations, the key is using efficiency as a tool to eliminate anything that detracts from the important, to help us seize more control over our time, so we can use it on things that truly satisfy.

In Defense of Shorter

We’ve discussed the value of using “quick” to support “slow,” but might there also be instances where the reverse is true? Absolutely!

Lingering in a moment and drinking in its full-bodied glory can be satisfying, but sometimes those still moments conceal a more-troublesome behavior: stalling. Also known as procrastinating, or resisting what we know we must do, this is the sort of slowness we want to avoid. When we learn to recognize the difference between the two, we save time and energy that can be used on taking action!

At first glance, “slow and steady” and “fast and efficient” can seem incompatible, but when we learn to put these two methods to work in tandem, they help us create a life that is freer, more productive and truer to the wonderfully dichotomous people we are.